CAKRAWALANTT.COM - We all commonly
receive a lot of questions related to social interaction instead of the
relationship with the main family members. Some people might throw a question
like “Don’t you hang out with your friends? It’s a Saturday night.”
Have you ever
rated how close you with your family members are? Naturally, parents and
children have a special relationship with each other. Therefore, the impact of
this relationship is quite huge to the growth of how the child will turn out
later. Discussing parenting and children's relationship, there seems to be a
gap between these two things. Due to the advancement of technology and this
modern age, children tend to be more active and open-minded in building a
social relationship with anyone compared to their parents who have lived years
before with them. It cannot be denied that numbers of teenagers and adolescents
prefer to spend more time with their social circle rather than having a neatly dinner
together in a table with family.
Then, what are
the factors behind that? Considering this, some parents, in general, have a
mindset that they have to be strict so that their children will listen to them.
Children, when they grow up, their parents might have set a high standard of
living for the best in the world to their children without even thinking about
what their kids exactly want to do in their life. It seems good for specific
reasons but parents should be their guide to lead the children not be a terror
to them. For instance, when a kid does not show his/her effort in Math, as
parents, they should not force their kids to be better in Math or blame their
kids for not being good at numbers. It will be effective if the parents make a
simple conversation and ask about the problems behind.
Transforming negative feelings to positive words
We often hear
many stories related to our friends' or relatives’ personal experiences with
their family. Indeed, we might look that close to our family because we share
the same house, food, and everything.
This causes the family members in the house to forget how to be gentle
in persuading their kids to study and to be disciplined. Sometimes, parents
throw unwanted words to express their feelings. Some parents start to criticize
their children for no reason every time they feel mad, disappointed, or simply
because they are tired.
In some cases, parents have fully provided materialistic things such as having good clothes, delicious food, and an amount of money. Yet, the children have not fully got a mental intake. Due to the strict atmosphere and unwanted words that are given by parents, the children tend to save every secret on their own and prefer to tell their problems with their friends. As usual, based on the informal research that I made on my Instagram account related to parenting and child relationships, it was found that 24 people out of 34 stated that even though they have a close relationship, they rarely share their privacy with their parents.
Considering this
issue, there might be several reasons that can be concluded as the factors of
this relationship gap.
1)
Children need to
get respected
This picture explicitly explains the expression of a
daughter who wants to get a compliment of what she has done by her mother. Yet,
it does not fit with her expectation. When parents start mocking their
children's interests, social life, or even the love they choose, it will give
an uncomfortable feeling for them. This situation might sound simple, but
parents, you should know that this kind of response gives a special wound to
children. Growing up, children tend to realize that the existence of parents is
to help them financially not giving warm attention anymore.
2)
Children need a guidance,
not a terror
Expecting
children to have a positive and good life record has become every parent’s
final goal. Having a high standard of success sometimes has made some parents
think that ego is very essential. “My children have to take this subject and
get a perfect score so that they can have a better future.” By knowing that
their children cannot fully achieve their expectations, they simply say
unwanted words instead of cheering up their children and asking why gently. In
this case, parents should be more sensitive and aware of their role as guidance
for their beloved children. Otherwise, the children might feel under pressure
and make a distance from their parents.
3)
Children need to
be understood
Among all of the factors, understanding each other becomes the main menu from both sides. For instance, the time when children grow up and want to tell a secret to their parents, indeed that they see their parents as a role model. That is why parents should choose wise words and gestures that do not hurt their children’s feelings.
Text and Photo :
Ira Luik
Editor : Ira
Luik (red)
.jpeg)
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